One For Those Purist Perfectionists

Well here it is; part three[?] of some [direct] Porsche advice.  If you’ve got a spare bit of wedge and want what is possibly the BEST November 1988 built 911 available here in Sydney at THIS PARTICULAR time point (30 Aug 2011) then here it is, no kidding:

1/ Visit http://www.classicthrottleshop.com/classics.htm

2/ Click on the Red Porsche 911 Carrera (8th row down, 1st across)

Apologies for not having a direct link, but WordPress blogs currently don’t allow for java scripts – which drives the classicthrottleshop website.  I am currently searching for a fix to this – or at the very least another blog host which does support java script.

Regardless, WHAT A CAR!  I don’t use the word “best” about second hand cars too often – it once took me well over 6 months to find a mint, unmolested, Series V Mazda RX7 for example.  But here, for your pleasure, is the 911 Classic (SC) you want.  The wait is over.

Images above are owned by the classicthrottleshop.

Steve Jobs, Apple & Lust

The recent departure of Steve Jobs from his position at Apple is most certainly a loss.  Of interest will be just how drastically Apple’s products are affected in the next 5++ years or so.  Steve always had the last say on each item’s release so no matter what anyone says, Steve IS apple.  Thankfully, he is still on the board [chairman in fact] and I have a feeling that he’ll be having the final word for some time yet.  I’m personally viewing this as an “official resignation” in name only.  I can only hope that my feeling turns out to be accurate.

I had a few minutes to kill this morning (and I needed access to a computer), so I waltzed into the Sydney Apple Store to try out the latest MacBook Air [you've got to love Apple - you can visit their store and use EVERYTHING - you could run a business out if it - really!].  So anyhoo, whilst I’ve been a windows/microsoft whore for years and years I feel that the time has arrived to embrace what my heart has ALWAYS craved.  Okay, okay, AND Apple’s products are now more reasonably priced compared to say, 2 or so years ago.  Regardless, I’m on my second iPhone and believe me, they are the GOODS.  They aren’t the standard must have phone for nothing.  They just plain work [you hear so many people bitch about their crackberries].  And not only do the iPhones work, they work brilliantly and intuitively.  I remember wanting one purely because I was sick and tired of carrying an iPod AND a mobile phone.  Funny thing is, my iPhone has become so much more.  I’ve still got a 3Gs which, whilst not the latest and greatest, is to me, a prettier version than the newer 4G.  Fingers crossed the upcoming 5G will look [at least slightly] better.  Industry rumblings are that in won’t really look that different – but Apple has an uncanny way of surprising everyone.

Which brings me back to the MacBook Air I was playing with this morning for a fair while.  Let’s be frank:  the very first “Air” released by Apple was a complete disaster.  It overheated.  It was slow – it was a pretend laptop, strictly for posers only.  But the new one?  Besides weighing LESS than a magazine, it has dual i7, 1.8Ghz chips driving 4GB ram.  Whilst being 64bit, the ram currently isn’t upgradable to 8Gb, HOWEVER, you do get solid state memory for blinding speed AND you get the new, uber Thunderbolt port [13 inch model only] which is purportedly 20 times faster than USB 2.0!!  Mate, that is quick.  And for someone like me who stores and crunches 25Mb photo files, that speed is a god-send.  As an option, you can buy a RAID system with up to 12 terabytes of memory [and link it via Thunderbolt].  Crazy.  Even crazier still is that we’re discussing terabytes so casually these days.

It wasn’t all beer and skittles though.  My initial feeling [a while ago] when these didn’t ship with disc drives was one of disappointment.  But since I’ve thought about it – you don’t really NEED a drive.  Virtually anything you can think of is online and if you absolutely, positively need it, you can ratchet off an existing drive on another laptop or computer OR buy a separate, Apple drive for a measly 89 bucks.   Hello cloud computing!

Have I mentioned the battery life?  7 hours straight my friend.  Beat that.   That’s right.  7.  Hours.

The reason I’m looking at these Airs is that my super duper PC laptop [which is still "current" even though it's 2 years old] weighs as much as a small car.  Yes, it’s uber fast and powerful with a nice large screen – but I need something lighter without sacrificing outright grunt.  The Air, solves [virtually] all these problems – and now I’ll get to my point:  It is SUCH a delight to use.  The keyboard feels great (I’m a fast typist – quiet in the peanut gallery, my parents insisted that I learn at aged 12).  All the apps open up relatively quickly.  You have “instant on” thanks to the solid state memory.  I plan on going back so I can download and test Nikon’s Capture NX2 program which is severely RAM intensive – I’ll be interested to see the Air’s response and churn time.  I promise to let you know how it goes.  But what really gets me is that the entire unit is just so damned slick.  It’s been said that Steve Jobs knows what his users want before they even see it.  Boy are they right.  His stuff also has that quality feel that even the most expensive Toshibas lack.  How many manufacturers do you know that make you lust after everything that they release?

Au revoir Steve, I hope you finally get some well earned rest.

Looking at buying a Porsche 911 in the 996/997 shape range?

Check out Audrey next to the (996) GT2.

 

Hi Sportsfans!

As promised, here is the start of what will hopefully be one of the biggest go-to Porsche 911 info blogs on the ‘net.  If you’re looking at buying one, I’m going to endeavour to provide as much help [and information] as possible to assist with your purchase.

I came across the below article and found it extremely interesting.  I personally don’t find this shape to be the prettiest, (resale value isn’t that great either) but it’s worth noting the following, extracted comment from the article.  Of special interest too is the litany of responses at the end:

“So, should early 996s be avoided? Nick and Steve each admit that they wouldn’t themselves buy one, but are keen to point out that the problems they’ve discussed probably affect five to ten percent of early 996 engines.”

http://www.total911.com/news/996-engine-failure-should-you-be-worried/

Just to add: I refer to the 996 model [1998-2005] as the “Boxster” wannabe 911 as it has the same headlights.  Don’t quote me but I think Porsche was trying to adopt that look across the range, including on the Cayenne.  I’ve never liked the Boxster and don’t even consider it a real Porsche.  So for me personally, I can quite agressively scratch the 996 off my list due to that awful Boxster DNA, never mind the engine woes as described by the article linked above.  Porsche must have been listening to the purists though, because when the 997 arrived, the hideous Boxster look was nowhere to be seen.

My Love of Porsche

A lovely example of a 997 Turbo.  Probably my favorite model.

Have I ever told you how much I LOVE Porsche? I mean, I LOVE them.  It’s been my favourite automobile ever since I can remember. My mum STILL has the matchboxes I owned as a child and guess how many 911s are part of that collection? My son plays with them now and even though he’s barely two, he points out BMWs and VWs when we’re out on the road. My son. Obviously. Porsche’s, sadly, are not so common in the wild here in Sydney. Score one for Melbourne.

Regular readers of my blog will remember when, in 2009, I drove my first 911 (a brand new one) and was very disappointed. In hindsight I was being a bit childish writing it off for what I perceived as average brakes and an un-exciting demeanour. I also had a mate with me which probably distracted my true feel for the car. Plus I handed it back in less than 15 minutes which was just plain silly.  Yes, all this sounds like an elaborate set of excuses but I now know that I’d need a couple of weeks with a Porsche to really give an accurate run down of how they roll. Heck, these cars are so popular they have their own race series. There are countless aficionados and it IS after all, German. Perhaps the 911 will never float my boat, but I owe it to myself and my memories to try again. The problem now will be getting my mitts on one for a decent length of time.  I’ll have to work on that.

There is something Porsche has that Ferrari doesn’t. Call it reliability. Call it my preference for clinical perfection over outrageous bawdiness. There’s something about Porsche’s DNA which sings to me. I have to admit to experiencing a much faster heart beat when a Ferrari flies past me at full noise, but when it comes down to it, the Porsche has it – who can resist that flat six song?  That sexy shape which has barely changed in 50 odd years.

Gosh but they are beautiful.

An outing with some mates.

Using my skill for processing huge chunks of information quickly, I’ll be compiling what I hope will be a substantial Porsche go-to blog over the next 12 months…..I will initially start from a Sydney perspective and then expand outward.

I’ll start with a link to a second hand Porsche dealer located in the Northern Beaches who seem to have some decent quality examples on sale.  And no, I am in no way affiliated with them.

http://www.autohaushamilton.com.au/index.html

Who wouldn’t fall in love with this?

Some Home Truths

Some of you will have read my previous entry on one Ford Falcon XR6. I waxed lyrical on it and have thoroughly enjoyed its company over the last [almost] two weeks. I am now ready to deliver the final verdict.

There’s no denying it is a nice car, at a very attractive price. It is also leaps and bounds ahead of where Australian cars were ten years ago. It is far better than its Holden counterpart which to me, is an amazing feat. However. It is still a Ford. It has rattles and noises coming from all over the car [including behind the dash] and it has barely covered 16,000 Klms. The stereo is complete rubbish. The fuel consumption puts old V8s to shame [you CAN buy a gas version which produces more power and costs half as much to run in fuel costs though].

It is sloppy. I can’t find any other way to describe it. Compared to my BMW, it just feels “loose”. The steering, the way the wheels feel like they’re barely secured to the car. I guess soft is another way to describe it. The gearbox, whilst good and infinitely better than anything found in an Australian car to date, it’s not BMW crisp shift.

The wipers? I can hear the relays clicking behind the dash when the intermittent setting is activated. What the F&%K is that? I expect that on a 1990 Suzuki Sierra, but NOT an October 2010 Ford Falcon XR6. Poor form. To top it off, a heavy downpour really puts the actual blades to work – and they barely keep the glass clear. Audrey’s Bosch wipers are a thing to behold. Rain doesn’t stand a chance.

The switch gear looks incredibly cheap but to be fair, it’s a cheap car. It makes the South African built 320i I complained about last year look uber deluxe by comparison. The menu system when your iPhone is plugged in? It’s so archaic; I couldn’t work out how to click back to the start of a song. One step forward, 2 steps back.

Okay, okay, I can have 3 Falcon XR6s to my one BMW 325i Coupe and in the first couple of days with the Falcon, I was almost impressed. I was even considering BUYING an FPV GT. Granted, these are a slightly more expensive beast to the XR6 but I can’t see them being THAT MUCH better, given they are cast out of the same mold, and share many, many components.

The crucial “would I buy one” question? No, not even if all I had was $33K. There are far better vehicles out there for that kind of money.

Wendy The Humble 2011 Ford Falcon (albeit an XR6 Version)

 

 

 

 

 

 

My first car [technically] was a Ford Falcon [Fairmont actually, and yes, the oh-so sexy Ghia version).  A station wagon to boot.  Not a real hit with the ladies I grant you; although my main squeeze at the time wasn't at all perturbed by it.  Anyway, I bought it on impact.  That is to say, when 2 vehicles slammed into me side on, it was officially mine.  Isn't life grand?  A car nut's first car: a written off Ford Fairmont Ghia Station Wagon.  But it wasn't a bad bus.  Its heavy yank-tank build probably saved my life.  But I digress.  I haven't bought or even looked at a Ford since.  But fate likes to play dirty tricks.  You may have read in one of my earlier blogs that I was recently handed the keys to a newish XR6.  December 2010 build I believe.  I wasn't amused.  Curious, but mostly dirty about it.  "A FORD" I thought with a gathering frown.  "Do I LOOK like a bogan?" I thought to myself.  Sliding behind the [oooh, leather] wheel and turning the key, she fires up very nicely.  None of that rough grind I remembered from yesteryear.  Heck, no choke necessary!  Sorry.  Back to the car.  You forget just how BIG these things are.  They’re a whisker shy of 5 metres long for goodness sake!  I had to deftly manoeuvre her out of the tight, deep, multi-layer car park.  What?  It was!  What a chore.  No parking sensors here bub.  Mr. Ford?  If you’re listening – parking sensors front and rear as standard please, cheers.  I’ll tell you one thing though, I was practically idling out of the car park this thing has so much torque.  And its “only” the 4 litre straight 6.  Imagine how the new miami V8 would haul; (miami was the code word for Ford’s all new 5 litre, supercharged V8).  All this [the torque] makes Wendy (that’s what I’ve named her – and all XR6s) an absolute charm to drive around town.  Mountains of effortless torque.  Wanna overtake someone up a steep hill?  No dramas – punch that bad girl, and she squeals with delight before lunging forward with glee.  And I do so love that particular, near red-line squeal.  The gearbox is surprisingly good too although you’d expect that given it’s German.  By the way I did have a Commodore once so I may compare back to this from time to time – bear with me, the comparison is warranted.  I will say this though, the XR6′s 4 litre straight six engine is a dream compared to the clunking, farm machinery, 1960′s derived 3.6 litre V6 block the Commodore had.  What a boat anchor that thing was.  Sheesh.

And now I have to get a subject close to my heart, off my chest.  Brakes, also appropriately known as *stoppers*, Wendy’s aren’t great.  They’re not bad, and I suspect with decent brake fluid and nicer [read pricier] pads, I’d bet they’d perform that much better.  For some reason they react with far more vigour on the freeway at speed though I’m not sure why.  It’s almost like they’re speed sensitive.  Or maybe when you’re cruising at “the [upper end of] speed limit” the brakes are receiving force fed cooling, enabling better performance.  Meh.  I’d get them looked at and improved were I to buy a Wendy.  They are by no means a deal breaker however.  And on the FPV F6, you get Brembos…….  Wait a second – remember when you were a kid and you though “Brakes?  Who the heck cares about brakes?  I ain’t gonna be using those!”.  I’m sure I purposely breezed over the braking detail paragraphs of car articles as a kid.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comfort and noise.  You know what?  This car is pretty quiet.  I took it down south for a long freeway and mountain pass punt and Ford should be proud.  The road din is remarkably absent – as is pesky wind noise.  You could probably improve it slightly but for what you’re paying for this car, it’s damned impressive.  Road noise at 110kmh is very wearing on a driver – my 325 Coupe is the quietest thing I’ve ever driven and is the benchmark – it is whisper quiet even at silly speeds.  It’s a bit like business class – if you’ve never flown it – you don’t know what you’re missing…….    And now, to the recliners……  The seats are awesome.  They are wide and comfortable – built especially for us aussies.  Even my wife commented on them and she NEVER comments on car stuff.  Ever.  Well done seat designers.  Mind you, my Commodore seats were equally superb.  Must be an aussie thing.  I’d go so far as to say the XR6 seats are better than my coupe’s buckets.  There, I said it.  *ducks for cover*…….  I’m serious though, they are that good.  And now, to the sound system.  Here it is: it sucks.  BMW’s standard 325 Coupe sound system wins HANDS DOWN.  The bass response in the XR6 is awful – I got lots of distortion, and the general sound (if the volume level is up to more than a quarter or so, is woeful).  Too bad Ford – I’d address that pretty quick.  A bog stock Camry has a better sound.  Okay just kidding – but really Ford?  FIX THE MUSIC.  Allegedly there is a “premium” version as an option but I haven’t auditioned it to be able to comment.  The electronics/menu system is a bit bodgy but I’ve seen worse.  BMW have nailed all this with their i-drive access and the information you can change/review from your fingertips.  But again, addressing value for money – it isn’t too bad.  But PLEASE, PLEASE – fix that stereo!

So now to cruise control  Ah, cruise – one of those things you take for granted and just accept.  Let me tell you, all cruise controls are NOT created equally.  On Audrey [my coupe], you stick it on 108kmh and that’s where it stays.  Up hills, down hills so steep, it won’t move off 108kmh.  Wendy tends to flutter at up to +/-5 kmh.  Kinda annoying given you want to set and forget, especially with all the hidden blue boys that have been hanging around lately.  They’re getting damn sneaky too.  One more [interior] thing – the steering wheel badge looks kinda cheap, but now I’m just being picky.  Oh one more thing.  The rev counter and speedo?  That blue halo around them with the “XR” blazed across each dial?  YUCK.  YUCK.  YUCK.  Hideous.  The dials on the G6E are slightly better – but take note; simple is best with dials etc.

No review is complete (for parents) without a comment as to the ease (or backbreaking difficulty) of wedging your beloved child into the back seat.  I can steadfastly say that Ford’s design of defaulting the car seat anchor right into the middle is pretty sweet.  Yes, you can use either of the left and right outside seats if you must, but why not give the child a full, unobstructed view through the front windscreen.  My little man LOVES it.  He also seems to fall asleep much, much quicker in Wendy – perhaps because of the clear/mesmerising view through said windscreen – my other theory is that the Falcon itself resonates at a particular frequency designed to send toddlers straight off to la-la land – how’s that for a marketing hook, eh Ford?).  Whatever the reason, he’ll be sad moving back into the coupe where being a four seater, he doesn’t have a choice.  Further, Wendy’s rear door is enormous, proving easy access to the car seat and its tricky, four point seatbelts.  Bravo Ford, I think you give four wheel drives, with their high access point, a run for their money.

Fun versus dynamics.  My coupe (Audrey her name is) has near perfect dynamics.  She does what you tell her to instantly, there’s no body roll, she’s tight, she feels like a formula one car for the road.  She just FEELS SO GOOD.  She has a smoothness and a “feel” that can’t be translated easily via text.  Liquid silk.  Single Malt scotch on wheels.  Blah, blah, blah….the beamer is super sweet etc etc.  Wendy on the other hand – you mash Wendy’s pedal and she has that old school muscle car response, rise up, tear at those shocks and roar forward, complete with tyre screech and back end push – YEE-HA!!!!  It’s like riding a controlled bronco.  You smile every time.  Drive up to the shops?  Smile.  Grab a cuppa-joe from your favourite cafe?  Smile.  Wendy’s like that chick who knows exactly how to please you.  A bit rough but man is she FUN.  Going through Mt Ousley, my old commodore used to be quite nervous at the posted speed limits, especially changing direction.  Wendy takes those blind uphill and cutaway, left/right downhills with aplomb.  Especially when you consider she is just shy of 1.8 tonnes.  The engineers have clearly got the suspension set up just about right.  Got the cruise pegged at 105kmh and the posted corner limit says 55?  Keep the cruise pegged.  Wendy just sails through it.  That was a nice surprise.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wish it was summer so I could test the aircon.  Audrey’s worked perfectly on a 45 degree C day – that’s saying something.  Fingers crossed it works well.  It certainly heats okay and appears and feels as if it works fine – but you can’t really tell unless you’ve had it through a brutal Sydney summer……but it’s an Aussie car right?  The commodore’s was okay.  Not brilliant but okay.

The boot – hands down, this thing swallows anything.  Very impressive and there are no hooky hinges to get in the way when you close it.  Well done Ford.  I like it.  One thing you should do though is to build in a false bottom so that it’s perfectly flat when you open it up.  The wheel well and crater type, stepped middle section makes it look a bit unfinished and sloppy – also makes it hard to roll a large pram into it…….food for thought re the floor but the hinge set up really is first class.

Design……I get very excited when I watch something like “Highway Patrol” or “RBT”…..because I get to see what the kind of cars the cops use and how they use them.  There seem to be less and less Fords – due to the fact that they don’t make V8s anymore.  Regardless – the undercover (and marked) cop cars look great to me.  It’s that “tough” look.  Vanilla XR6s and XR8s look awesome on the street – AND they could well be an unmarked cop.  But the boys in blue aside, they look great and I think Ford’s designers have got a winner with the new FG series.  It certainly looks far more elegant (and dare I say it, beautiful) than Holden’s current commodore offerings.  Wouldn’t surprise me in the least if Holden have lost some customers due to the current Ford shape.  Being a smidge more specific, I think the rear end looks best – and the flared arches are a cool touch.  And yes, even the headlights have that V8 supercar glare to them.  From inside the car you look out across a huge slab of bonnet – it’s a very comforting and “luxurious” sort of position to be in.  What’s funny is I get ten times the looks in this car than in my beamer.  What’s with that?  Do people think I’m a cop?  Do they want to race?  Well let’s go punk, Wendy is ever ready.

Cars, Cars, Cars.

I was recently in the market for a new car.  You regular readers will know all too well what I drive and where my heart lies.  It was therefore “easy” to choose the next vehicle.  The latest BMW X3 with the 3 litre diesel seemed the next logical step.  Quick.  Sensible.  A veritable perfect compromise.  The problem was, I’d already driven the 2 litre diesel version and ascertained what they’re like on the road.  They’re actually kind of fun.  They don’t stop the quickest but I’m unfairly comparing it to a sports car.  It’s the kind of vehicle that makes you feel confident enough to drive fast – over any terrain.  This however, gets one into a bit of trouble, because pushing 1.73 tonnes of top heavy metal on 17 inch rims around a corner with alacrity is laughing in the face of physics.  And do you think I learned from my first scare with it?  Nope, it tricks you (all the time)  into thinking you’re going much slower – so quiet and composed is she at 100kmh.  The scare around corners happens again and again.  It’s kind of cool but then you have to FORCE yourself to drive SLOWER around corners – I mean, really put the brakes on.  Otherwise you’d end up in a ditch with some quick explaining to do to your mother-in-law.  In my 325 coupe, you just turn the wheel and hold on – the coupe then laughs at you and asks if that’s the best you’ve got.  The coupe has far better brakes too.  And you all know my obsession with brakes.

To cut an epic short, I decided to be cavalier and try out the latest (2011) Subaru STI.  I’ve long been a fan of these, I’ve driven a couple of worked versions and they do provide somewhat of a rush.  Plus I was convinced that here was in fact, a cheaper, more suitable and infinitely sportier option (well I had to tell the wife SOMETHING).  Actual result: Rubbish.  Who in their right mind would pay $72,000 for an Impreza with a turbo?  Not I (after a drive) it seemed.  With WOEFUL, spongy brembos (they must be brembo’s cheapest models – either that or they’re from the defect bin) and cheap, junky interior plastics and cheaper headlight surrounds, I’ll leave this one for the boy racers.  Although how many boy racers have 72k to burn?  Anyhow, this car has no driving dynamics to speak of and it didn’t bring one ghost of a smile to my face.  I mean MATE, the brakes were spongy and the ABS kicked in instantly.  I’ve NEVER felt the ABS kick in on the [beamer] coupe.  Plus I bounced of the rev limiter instantly and felt like I’d gone nowhere.  Strike One.  Oh positives?  Hill-hold is standard.  That’s it.

A riddle:  What is German, has all wheel drive, a bit of a pedigree and is well built?  Oh and is actually MADE in Germany?  Give up?  The new Audi A4 Quattro.  Yes, I drove one.  And guess what?  Was I IMPRESSED.  I was giggling like a school girl throwing this car around in the pouring rain, roads slick with oil and water….  It was a blast.  The computer was struggling to keep all four wheels gripping – if Audi have backed the safety gizmos right off on purpose here then bravo.  There’s nothing worse than a computer which cuts into the fun just as its all starting to happen.  Another plus – the turbo was singing its little heart out.  It was FUN TO DRIVE.  I wanted one.  Right now.  The Bang & Olufsen sound system is a nice touch (although I suspect the speakers need about 200+ hours of break in before sounding their best – they were a bit tinny.  Crystal clear though).  The finish and interior are lovely.  And by that I mean really, really nice.  I felt cosseted in luxury – like being deep and low in a 911 seat.  Downside?  They are expensive.  Everything is an option, including stuff as basic as a reverse dipping mirror.  They don’t hold their value well.  Audi don’t have a guaranteed buy-back scheme.  I’m into my cars but I refuse to throw money away for the sake of it.  Strike Two.

I was recently handed (purely by chance) the keys to a Ford Falcon XR6.  Quiet in the peanut gallery please.  Initially I wasn’t rapped.  But after a big, seared, fresh tuna lunch at Bitton’s (I’d skipped breakfast so was in a foul mood) and a few adjustments to the steering wheel, I was off again, and there it was – a faint glimmer of a grin.  That straight six has quite the howl to it!  It’s got spunk (always wanted to use that term); it SOAKS up Sydney’s awful, corrugated roads.  It ISN’T that prone to wallow given its size and girth.  Dare I say it, I was enjoying myself.  Want the rear end sideways?  No probs, punch it early-mid corner.  Want it back?  Ease off the throttle.  No fuss, no scare, just excitement.  The rear end is most accommodating.  Mashing the accelerator just to hear the engine roar is so addictive.  You can see why so many people [*cough* - bogans - *cough*] buy these – and exactly why the cops use them.  It’s QUICK and not even a turbo!  I’m booked in to drive an FPV version shortly to see if they can be better – but so far, an aussie built car which makes you smile?  Who’da thunk it?  Heck, this is a bog stock Falcon!  Imagine a turbo bolted to it!  Okay, okay, the brakes.  They aren’t great.  I’m hoping the FPV version will make up for that.  Brembos again, but this time, hopefully something that wasn’t from their reconditioned bin.  And the best thing?  You can DRIVE THESE AWAY for a whisker under A$33K!!!

BMW 325i Coupe (vs BMW 320i 4 Door)

I’ve had a love affair with cars ever since I was a little kid.  At some point I ended up with over 70+ matchboxes which were stamped “Made in England”.  Sadly, those times [stuff made anywhere other than China] are gone.  But not, my love of cars.  I was once informed by an acquaintance that “when you start driving a bit, your love of cars will fade”.  Well, not only has it NOT faded, I recently took an M3 out for a spin, and it fed that love like a plane belly full of jet fuel being unceremoniously dumped onto a forest fire.

In this piece however, I’m going to write about something a little more vanilla.  For a little over three years now, I’ve owned a BMW 325i Coupe.  It’s a gorgeous, sleek little thing, and I [my wife] relished selecting the colours and options when buying time rolled around.  It has a few niggles.  Its power is a little bit low…..   …wait a minute, that’s actually the only niggle……  Alright, alright, there is one more – the gear box in Sport Mode can be a little notchy – but only if you’re NOT driving it flat to the floor.  Drive it full stick and the sport mode gear shift is smooth.  Drive it around town in Sport and it’s clunky and notchy as heck.  Normal “Drive” is fine and smooth enough, though it should be smoother.  I think the latest box [8 speed] has fixed all this though.  In the M3 (2010 build), I’d gotten to 5th gear in the blink of an eye with the new double clutch wonder.  Scary, scary fast.  In the 320i, hitting a roundabout tricks the gearbox into thinking it needs to select a higher gear – so you end up “stuck” half way around the corner with no power.  Weird and unsettling.

Anway, so I’ve had this thing (325i Coupe now) up to silly speeds on blind, tight corners which go up and down steep hills.  It inspires confidence like nothing else I’ve driven – except for a little Peugeot 205GTI I once owned – but that’s for a different piece…..I’ve even had a WRX (with some, ah, modifications) on the same piece of tarmac – and guess what?  The beamer felt safer and was actually going much faster.  Though, it FELT slower.  HOW do the Germans DO THAT?  Even at 160kmh, this vehicle feels like you’re doing around 80……

So just to piss me off a touch, someone decided to rear end my pride and joy just after Christmas.  Not a huge amount of damage, but enough.  Thankfully, he was insured.  But of course, one then worries that it won’t be quite the same.  Can they match the paint just right?  Will there be orange peel?  Will they take the trouble to put all the bits and pieces back EXACTLY how there were?  In short, will it look factory?  Well guess what, this smash repair mob I found (okay, okay, that the dealer recommended) did the work in just over a week, and, IT LOOKS FACTORY.  Ask anyone how difficult I am to please and they’ll say – “Dezzie should work in quality control – trouble is, the company he’d work for would go broke ‘cause he’d never pass anything”!

Just to stray for a moment – whilst my beloved was getting her rear end fixed, they gave me, as a loaner, a BMW 320i.  Four door.  Interesting.  Less power, more doors, newer.  Shouldn’t be all bad, right?

Here we go:

325i coupe pros:

Power.  Smoothness.  Build.  Agility.  For lack of a better word, “feel”.

My couple is about $30-40k more than the sedan.  What do you get for that extra, hard earned cash which could go towards a Bayliner?  Driving both vehicles back to back, you can see exactly where that extra cash went.  Better leather.  Better sound suppression.  A larger, more powerful and smoother motor of course.  If you’ve ever experienced the silky smooth power output of a BMW, 2.5 litre six cylinder, you’ll know approximately what heaven is – downshift downhill whilst pulling 4 thousand revs?  No probs, you’ll barely feel the engine absorbing all that energy.  An old Commodore 3.8 litre would SCREAM in protest by comparison.  The 4 cylinder in the 320i too, feels like farm machinery by comparison.  Clunky.  Rattles.  Don’t even THINK about putting low octane in it – you’ll then be burning twice as much; and the car will develop a pronounced LIMP.  The suspension (back on the coupe, at speed) is better when pushed hard.  Electric everything.  An LCD screen which is your interface to the car (when you get into a car without one, it feels like you’re blind).  It really is a different car and you’d swear they came from different manufacturers.  The switch gear feels better manufactured.  Sure, all the switches and instruments are relatively similar and LOOK the same, the 4dr has that exact same layout, but really, it felt like a slightly glorified 1 Series.

Oh, and brakes.  I LOVE brakes.  Outstanding, not just good, POWERFUL brakes.  I once took a Porsche 911 Carrera back to a dealer after just 15 minutes because I thought the brakes were shot – “no, they’re fine ”said the dealer.  Consider this, I’d adored Porsches ever since I was a boy – and now was potentially going to buy one and realise another dream.  Heck, the dealer threw me the keys and told me to take as long as I wanted.  Sheesh.  What a disappointment.  My boyhood dream was shattered.  $220K for that?  No thanks.  I can confidently say that BMW more than likely have the best anchors in the business.   Even a Series V RX7 I used to own (which supposedly was engineered for the racetrack) had woeful brakes for something which was supposed to be a sportscar you could take to the track.

For comparison, I slammed the brakes on with that M3 I took out recently and nearly got hurled through windshield.  NOW you’re talking!  BETTER than my car’s stoppers which are already outstanding (and the size of French dinner plates).

Very simply, the Coupe feels like a much bigger, and better built vehicle.  Kinda like comparing a 560SEL to a Suzuki Swift.

Back to the 320i.  It has smaller wheels, in both width and diameter, so it handled Sydney’s pock-faced roads a little better.  This is not something which bothers me though.  I’ve turned avoiding potholes into something of an art form.  Got to protect those 18s!  Then there’s clearance.  Even pulling into a fuel station is a SLOW affair with the coupe, whose nose and lip sit VERY LOW to the ground.  Imagine if I’d sprung for the M suspension which lowers the car even further.  With the sedan, no such concerns.  Just slam that thing up the ramp…..any ramp.

Fuel.  Hands down, the 320i wins.  It hardly drinks a thing.  My son fell asleep in the back one particularly hot afternoon so when I got to my destination, I parked the car and left the engine running to keep the a/c going for nearly an hour.  Fuel gauge didn’t move one bit.  Again, a small plus, but a plus nonetheless.  Especially with oil nearing US$90 odd per barrel.  But once I get an M3, this point is moot.  The M3 sports a four litre V8 which whilst very frugal (for a V8), is STILL a V8.  Fuel economy?  What’s that?

Let me spell it out for you.  I was very disappointed in the 320i, and would never, ever buy one.  For the same money, there are better vehicles out there.  Heck, you can buy a second hand 7 series for the money.  And those cars are LOADED and drive beautifully.

No, the coupe will stay in the garage for a little bit longer………

A few other things – the boot in my car is actually quite large.  I’ve tested some gear (read, a huge pram) in a 5 series and an X5 – guess what?  They aren’t that much bigger than the Coupe’s boot.  You can stuff enough luggage in the coupe to keep a woman happy for a week – now how big is that???

P.S.

A final word – the 4 door sedan that I drove was made in South Africa.  My coupe is made in Germany.

Give Blood. Make Baby Jesus (And Yourself) Proud.

Dearest and gentle readers, allow me to be seriously serious for one moment.  As you are more than likely aware, our proud nation’s blood supplies are heavily reliant on the Red Cross and the donations which they selflessly collect from very, very generous individuals.  One of those wonderfully enlightened individuals is me.  I have been giving up my precious life force for over eight years now.  And you know what?  It feels magnificent.  Someone somewhere will benefit from my blood.  And that knowledge provides me with unsurmountable feelings of happiness and quiet achievement.  I just may have saved someone’s life.  Or helped someone in need of daily transfusions.  That feeling (which in reality is indescribable) is what keeps me going back.  And it’s no big deal – you just lay there – they take care of the rest.  I know, I know, they have to jab a big, fat, nasty looking needle into your arm, and you have to pump a rubber chock with your fist to coax the flow, but heck, nothing worthwhile is ever easy.

Look at it this way.  Yes, the needle gauge is eight times thicker than a hypodermic.  But it’s also miles sharper.  It has to get INSIDE one of your main veins.  The puncture has to be clean to allow for even, positive flow.  Besides, if you get a veteran piercer, you’ll hardly feel a thing – no, really.  Plus they only take about half a litre.  450mls in the bag and another 50mls or so for testing.  Oh yes, they have to test you for err, shall we say, “inconsistencies”.  After all you might have that weird blood disease that starts with the letter J.

The very first time you watch that thick line of blood flow down the tube and into the donor bag, you think “wow, that’s MY blood, flowing effortlessly into a plastic BAG”.  Then you think, “shouldn’t I be panicking”?  Your deeply recessed, primal instinct kicks in at this point.  Truly, it was weird how my brain was suddenly shouting at me – “what are you DOING?  Why aren’t you STOPPING this???  It’s all very exciting in a Hollywood kind of way.  But seriously, it is cool.  [side note:  the fact that I find it cool is hinting, I suspect, at my early love of vampire films].  So the “bag” sits on an agitator which slowly rocks back and forth………it’s just plain mesmerising.  It’s your blood.  The other bonus is how wonderful the nurses are.  In fact everyone who works there goes out of their way to make you feel very comfortable and welcome.  And AFTER your life giving deed, you are rewarded with a hotdog and a milkshake.  How good is that?  They even give you ketchup (that’s a derivative of tomato sauce to you philistines) AND mustard for it too (no, not hot English unfortunately)!

But there is a downside.  “Here it comes” you’re all thinking.  So there’s this guy who stands in the corner with a chainsaw………     *pause for effect*     actually the only downside is that not enough of us are doing it.  Especially in the midst of winter.  The temperature keeps everyone at home.  The inevitable cold/flu season knocks the population around, further limiting the candidates.  Speaking of candidates, if you’re less than 50 kilos, pregnant, lived in the United Kingdom for a certain period, are gay, are sick with anything obviously, or have a tattoo  – you’re out (side note – ha! another reason NOT to get inked!  See my previous sermon).

So why do I do it you ask?  It all started with my fledgling and short lived motorcycle career.  We “temporary citizens” are very enthusiastic blood donors – so much so that we competed directly with the fire-fighters and nurses groups for litres of blood per month donated.  Aren’t we a swell bunch?  It’s interesting to note that something extremely positive and permanent came out of my association with motorcycles.  Okay, riding an Electra Glide, full dresser Harley Davidson around Maui (and paying US$11.00 to fill the tank) was up there too.

Do yourself a favour.  Go and donate.  And if you’re not brave enough to jump in the chair straight away (perfectly understandable), then at least go and visit a centre to see what it’s all about (here’s a tip, you could take a friend!)  – if that’s still too much, visit the website:

http://www.donateblood.com.au/

Or call them on 13 14 95.

I’ve successfully managed to rope several friends into donating with me over the years.  Something they’d never have considered doing otherwise.  And yes, they’re all still donating.  We all feel warm and fuzzy inside.  You can too.

Why are you still sitting there?

Tattoos; Ancient Symbol Of Power Or Modern Must-Have Accessory

Tattoos.  Ahh, the mystique.  The beauty.  The allure.  Even, the whiff of danger they allude.  I was subjected, nay, bombarded with all sorts of tattoos at a very young age.  I grew up in a country where us Caucasians (or “whiteys” as my Dad had a fondness of saying) were scarce.  The whiteys that were around, tended to be embassy expats or even more prolific, oil rig workers and navy guys.  Guess which group bore the most tats?  Just kidding.  So there I was, a very young, impressionable fellow, surrounded by (eye height for me) skin art, and good stuff at that.  Half naked women, fish, dragons, elaborate old ships.  Oh, and the obligatory anchor or seven.  Enter my Dad, who’s most persistent message on the subject was “getting a tattoo is like not wiping your ass”.  I’ll point out right now that some of his good mates had tats.  Yep, he was both subtle and obtuse like that.  He preached that particular quote to me (amongst a coven of other commandments) often enough, so of course, those wise words of wisdom left a distinct impression.  He also explained that oil rig workers & navy guys (and sea-farers in general), needed tats in case they ever fell overboard and had their faces chewed off by sharks.  The tattoos would help identify them see.  This all made perfect sense to a ten year old, who didn’t want to be a sea-farer anyway.  ‘Cause no one else really had tats, except for horribly crude ones on prisoners and gang members.  Onwards we march.

In recent times, every hip dude, from all walks of life, and even more so, “trendy” or “it” women *gasp!* seem to have succumbed to that wondrous little piece of steel that is the needle.  It is astounding just how fast and furiously this new generation of twenty some-things are getting stamped.  Tats are everywhere.  Sleeves, tramp stamps, inked calves, are all the rage.  It is no longer the dark side of the force.   It’s gotten so not being inked is unusual.  I’m not quite sure how I feel about this; given my Dad’s opinion on the subject still rings loudly in my ears (never underestimate the power of nagging your child).  However I do like a good tat and really appreciate a truly stunning example.  I’d like to point out here that the really beautiful ones are rare.  But, if you look closely, you can and do, see them.  Perhaps it’s because I grew up around them, but I have recently found myself seriously thinking about getting one.  And not just a little name on my arm or Norse cross over my heart, I’m talking a full blown, elaborate dragon or koi using my full back as a canvas.  Crazy, no?  I’ve even researched the guy who I’d like to carry out the inking.

But there’s a catch.  I’ll have this piece of artwork on me forever.  My back won’t always be the taut, young, muscle ripped surface that it is now for the same length of time.  That means that at age 70, the image may look a little err, “funny”, touched up or not.  Today’s tats should last for 10-15 years before requiring restoration.  Then there’s my son’s point of view to contend with.  Do I really want him seeing his Daddy marked that way for the rest of his life?  He’d certainly grow up wanting one “just like Dad”.  I don’t know if I can stomach that kind of pressure.  But just as long as he doesn’t want an earring I guess……  Then there’s The Wife.  How would she react to such a major change in my personal landscape?  With abject horror I’m sure.

All of that aside, it’s my body and I’ll mark it as I please.  I just wish it were that simple.

The quality of this new art is amazing.  Lines are clear and long lasting.  Contrast is simply astounding in its definition.  Shading is practically photo-esq.  If you didn’t know any better, you’d think it was finely air brushed body paint.  It’s that good.  Perhaps that is what’s kicked off the recent spate of ink work you see almost everywhere.  It IS very cool.  It looks as impressive as any quality piece of art should.  And on humans, that portable art takes on an even slicker edge.  The art lives and breathes.  On the beach (where tattoos shouldn’t really be exposed due to sun damage – the ink fades, and therefore should be covered up in zinc, or even better, UV resistant clothing), they are prolific in the extreme.  But the reality is, where better to show if off?  I haven’t been to any northern beaches lately but the southern beaches are awash with guys and gals with elaborate inking.  It looks fucking gorgeous and I’m guessing equally as addictive.  The best part is, unlike “cool” smoking which exploded in the 50s and 60s; tattoos are unlikely to cause any life threatening diseases or illness.  Possible, yes.  Likely, no.  What’s interesting too is that the old tattooist guard are looked down upon by their younger, more up-to-date brethren.  The new wave of parlours are clean and smell of freshly disinfected hospital rather than the stale beer smelling, smoke filled, dank bikie dens of old – although I’m sure these still exist somewhere – for that authentic, old school anchor or girlie tat of course.

I’ve even spoken to the odd person who is marked.  Of the four people I’ve recently chatted to, two are super enthusiastic and love their respective skin art, whilst two are repentant.  S’right, two wish they’d never been that “stupid”.  So, a 50/50 split.  Interesting eh?  Mind you, this is only in the circle of people that I know, which is still a fair sample.   It also kind of leads into WHAT IMAGE TO GET.  I’m wondering if the latter two above were wishing they’d had something else drawn on them, which would perhaps explain their regret.  Our conversation didn’t get to that point unfortunately.  Maybe I just didn’t want to hear it.  Variety is the spice of life and the truth sometimes sucks.  This artwork will become part of your body.  Permanently.  I don’t think I want to know just how much laser work would be required to completely fade a full back tat.  Many of you are probably thinking – this guy so obviously doesn’t want, or shouldn’t want to get inked.  Nothing is further from the truth.  I just like to analyse and put thoughts in black and white.  Besides, it ‘ain’t YOUR back!  It also makes a cracking piece to write about.  And I do love writing.  But that conversation is for another time.

I know an artist who does some amazing work (on paper), and I believe her work would look superb on skin (hi Rachel!).  Of course, getting someone to copy that same work is just never the same.  Which then brings us back to finding someone who IS a tattoo artist, and whose style not only stands out, but stands the “final result” test?  What does the final piece look like?  The key here is, do your research.  Seriously.  Too many people use their mate’s tattoo artist and end up with something that whilst good, isn’t great.  You want it to be spectacular right?  As good as it can be?  Take your time.  Look at work from more than one shop (most shops have a handful of artists that specialise in certain styles).  What kind of style do you want?  There would be a specific artist who would do a 20s pinup girl better than another.  It’s all about style.  That and flair.

By the way, getting a tattoo hurts.  And it’s bloody.  There will be bandages.  And pain.  Then more pain – it’s a big, fat needle vibrating up and down really fast remember?  Don’t forget caring for the freshly punctured skin you’ve now got, with puss and serum leaking out of every punched hole.  You’ve also got to apply plenty of cream on your skin for several days before getting the tat – soft, smooth skin is far easier to work on and the result will look better after this somewhat feminine preparation.  Did I mention the scabs you’ll want to itch like crazy when they start forming?  You can’t scratch or pick at it either.  Still with me?  Cool.  You’ll also want to take a few days off work probably.  And just imagine this all being on your back – for me, that means relying on my wife to be uber supportive.  Remember the abject horror she was going to express?  Oh my god, will I get blood on her good sheets???

Exactly why getting a tattoo is like “not wiping your ass” is beyond me.  My Dad is old school in the extreme though.  And that means “normal” refers to class, refinement and taste.  Think royalty.  Civility.  White table cloths, fine wine, elegance, highly polished albeit conservative footwear, most importantly, no earrings or tattoos.  Pregnancy out of wedlock is okay though…wait, WHAT?